6. Your gun or mine

Biopsy Gun

The ultrasound examination was a simple piece of cake compared to my last experience with lubricating gel and finger puppets. This was a simple external check around the pelvic area. Only those trained individuals can make sense of what these blurry and smudge like images seem to mean. It only took thirty odd minutes and the nurse was satisfied enough to say it was completed.

The flow rate test is where you pee into a machine that looks like a portable urinal and measures the strength and consistency of flow. It’s as simple as that.Read More »

5. Puppet

Puppet

 

Guys is a large hospital, set in a number of buildings adjacent to London Bridge station. It is the specialist hospital in London for oncology and cancer. The oncology department is a bright, modern and spacious place on the first floor. There were a few women waiting but most were mature to elderly men of all shapes, sizes and ethnicities.Read More »

4. Measure Me

tape measure 2

Unless it’s A&E or the Orthopaedics department (For those who watch Love Island – Skeleton, bones and tendons) you can never really tell what people are in hospital for. Little Johnny has his foot in plaster, Bob is on crutches etc. The haematology department (Love Islanders – Blood) is one of those places where you could have fun while you waited. What you have to do is guess the name of the person waiting and their aliment based on their body language. I pulled out my ticket, took my seat and had a look at who was around.Read More »

3. The geeky bit

Mr T

So, let’s try and make some proper prostate geeks out of you lot. Now this account is not extensive (it might impress in your pub quiz but your doctor may roll his eyes or run you out of his office).  What it will do is give you a good understanding of the terms and events coming up later.Read More »