16. Here comes the sun

super_squirrel

Without the mobility restrictions of the dreaded catheter I was determined to be more mobile than before. Stuff exploring, converting hidden tribes, climbing mountains, the paper in the Lancet and everything else. This was going to be all about me now. I don’t know if it was a celebrity quote, something a superhero had said in a movie or I have just plain made it up but ‘freedom has a price’. That price for me was having to carefully plan each journey so that I could always ‘powder my nose’ either en route, at the half way point or immediately at the end of the destination. Of course it was never going to be so simple (I just don’t do simple, somehow). There was another price to pay.

Cue the tragic music.

Using public toilet cubicles.Read More »

15. Baby wet me one more time

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Myself and Joel don’t have much in common other then being the same sex and DNA. He is the cute little thing everyone swoons over. He shamelessly uses his big doe eyes to get picked up and swept into the nearest female bosom (enjoy that now boy, it certainly does not last). He lets out this infectious giggle that wraps everyone around his chubby little fingers and he does not pay any bills. If I try the doe eye thing I am either ignored, asked if I’m feeling well, what am I staring at or I might get a slow deliberate eye roll in return. The one thing we do share, unfortunately, is the need to wear nappies or should I say pads in my adult variation.Read More »

14. Hasta la vista Catheter and hello to just as bad

Hose

Today was the most excited I had been for a long time. It was sad that this is what I would glean a glimmer of happiness from in my current situation but beggars and all that. This was the day me and the catheter were officially going to part company.

They mentioned in the last seminar at Guys that there is a slim chance that you might have to keep it in for a while longer if you didn’t retain enough in your bladder, which would mean the new joint between your urethra and bladder had not fully healed. I however was having none of it. This was a bad girlfriend that you just found out collected hunting knives for a hobby and sleeps in a coffin. Bon voyage, sayonara and adios sucker.Read More »

13. Mr Fixit and the bag of fun. Pt 2

handyman

The other great thing a catheter does very well (in my experience anyway) is leak and leak again.

If there is anything more terrifying than smelling like old accident prone uncle Stan (yes he fought in the war flying Spitfires so we won’t put him in a home, bless him) it’s having that tell tell wet patch. That patch that you can only hope that your bag, todays newspaper or a Michael Jackson side shuffle (without the finesse, adulation and money) would hide from an unforgiving world.Read More »