In 1942 a team of scientists headed by Harry Coover Jr, accidently discovered a curious substance that annoyingly stuck to everything it came into contact with, within seconds. Rejected initially it would be nine years before it’s true commercial potential would be realised. Cyanoacrylates were born. We know them better as super glue. From medical to veterinary, rock climbing to forensic science, the uses of superglue are endless.

You may be wondering what this science lesson has to do with prostate cancer. We are getting there. As with the main subject matter – Patience, little one.

I am coming up to my third helping of that wonderful hormone implant and my second round of radiotherapy. My fears of being turned into Paula have completely subsided. I do not have an A cup, in fact I am back in the gym so no moobs here either matey. The only glaring side effects are the hot flushes and being turned into this relentless peeing machine, day and night.

Very thankfully, I may get warm at work or sitting at home but I have never had a full on hot flush. If I was sweating due to the weather or one time when I had to run for a bus, then it could be exacerbated and prolonged a tad. I cannot say the same at night however – all bets are off.  I can count on one hand the number of nights I have had uninterrupted sleep in the last 6 months. Within a few moments of waking up I need to get the fan on. Soon afterwards the flush disappears.

If I am lucky, it may only happen one other time during the night but I have been unlucky enough for it to happen four times in one night. I can of course blame myself for some of it. Now water isn’t Mr innocent if I have it too late at night but it will be an even tougher night if I have had a carbonated drink. I do have some rare off days but I remain amazed and thankful that I am still functioning during the day.

I relayed all this to my consultant during the second month on the hormone implant during our quarterly appointment. They had realised why the radiotherapy didn’t work last year. They were irradiating the prostate bed (where Mr Prostate used to live) when the cancer growth was actually higher up in the lymph nodes. Now I know about radiotherapy and you should only ever have this once in your life for a prostate cancer. I asked about the risk and he said,

“Because it’s in a different position and higher up it should be OK”

I could have dwelled a long time on the ‘Should’ but when do you ever get a resounding affirmative from a doctor? The last time I heard someone being told that by a doctor – let’s just say it didn’t go too well for that person. So, we left with him saying that I would be hearing from the radiotherapy department to schedule another round with them.

Fast forward a couple of weeks and I’m back at the cancer centre to go over the radiotherapy procedure. This time will be different as I will need to use an enema just before every appointment. After the briefing I queued up at the pharmacy to get a job lot for use over the duration of the treatment. When I got home the first thought was that they look like big tubes of super glue. Not that you would ever want to be trying to stick back on that broken handle of your favourite mug with the wrong tube. And of course you are going to be very disappointed and in serious trouble if you, conversely, try to have a movement with the other.

Ouch.

The first appointment when they tried to do the new measurements, I blew it by being de-hydrated so they couldn’t do the scans. They sent me away with a gentle fly between my ears and not even a bye. A week later, I had learned my lesson and was back again. I tried the first tube of ‘non superglue’ and I think it needs to be re-named as gentle rocket fuel. It said on the tube that it will take 15 minutes. Well for me it’s not the thing to take and then go and queue up for a coffee. They successfully got all their measurements and I was on my way with happier faces than my previous visit.

So roll on the next course.

Just to finish. I can never complain about any part of this. I recently went to visit the graveside of my friend, who I had mentioned in this blog. We had started radiotherapy at the same time last year for two different cancers. I just looked at the last text that he sent on the 13^th May 2023 where he says he was told that the operation had gone better than the surgeons had expected.

I am still here and he is not.