81. The King and The Death Grip

Darth VaderWhen I first heard the term ‘death grip’ my first though was Darth Vader’s signature death move when one of his minions had failed him.

Just like everyone of a certain age, Vader was that badass dude that no-one messed with. Some wanted to be all goody two shoes Skywalker but Vader was the man.

Vader was the proper, original gangster.Read More »

80. Medicine from Both Ends

NeedleThere are two un-nerving things about training other companies staff in the middle of a pandemic. One is when they decide that they are not going to be on camera for the whole duration, that could be for one or two days. The second thing is while they are wrapped up safely at home you are venturing out into the dangerous unknown just to give them a bit of training.

While they are sitting or sleeping there behind a static video screen, as the tutor you have to wonder what’s on the other side. Are they dressed? Are they nude? Are they watching daytime TV and just have you on in the background? Has lockdown turned them into friendly unkempt troglodytes? Read More »

73. No Unicorns were Harmed in the Making of This Non Suggestive Anniversary Cake

unicorn-peen-1Yesterday, the 5th of July was the second anniversary of my big chop.

It’s funny I had pretty much forgotten in the week leading up to it. I should now be considered a successful statistic.

My anniversary coincided with the easing of the big lockdown. Lots of footage of the pubs full and overflowing. Having known a couple of people that have died of COVID 19 and a couple of friends that had contracted it, I will resist the urge to go and get a portion for myself all because of a Malibu and Coke. The two guys that I know contracted it, and survived, are still suffering the side effects long afterward.Read More »

57. Fugu to you too – Part Two

Fortnite_Double_Barrel_Shotgun

If you take a Viagra tablet and are watching football – unless you are some freak that gets turned on by a football getting kicked up and down the pitch, nothing is going to happen.

You need stimulation.

That hopefully will be in the form of that hot naked chick standing in front of the TV wanting to divert you away from the suddenly less interesting game.Read More »