Myself and Joel don’t have much in common other then being the same sex and DNA. He is the cute little thing everyone swoons over. He shamelessly uses his big doe eyes to get picked up and swept into the nearest female bosom (enjoy that now boy, it certainly does not last). He lets out this infectious giggle that wraps everyone around his chubby little fingers and he does not pay any bills. If I try the doe eye thing I am either ignored, asked if I’m feeling well, what am I staring at or I might get a slow deliberate eye roll in return. The one thing we do share, unfortunately, is the need to wear nappies or should I say pads in my adult variation.Read More »

Today was the most excited I had been for a long time. It was sad that this is what I would glean a glimmer of happiness from in my current situation but beggars and all that. This was the day me and the catheter were officially going to part company.

They mentioned in the last seminar at Guys that there is a slim chance that you might have to keep it in for a while longer if you didn’t retain enough in your bladder, which would mean the new joint between your urethra and bladder had not fully healed. I however was having none of it. This was a bad girlfriend that you just found out collected hunting knives for a hobby and sleeps in a coffin. Bon voyage, sayonara and adios sucker.Read More »

The other great thing a catheter does very well (in my experience anyway) is leak and leak again.

If there is anything more terrifying than smelling like old accident prone uncle Stan (yes he fought in the war flying Spitfires so we won’t put him in a home, bless him) it’s having that tell tell wet patch. That patch that you can only hope that your bag, todays newspaper or a Michael Jackson side shuffle (without the finesse, adulation and money) would hide from an unforgiving world.Read More »

I left hospital incontinent, infertile, on a restricted diet, fitted with a catheter that was too short, more holes in me than I had the day before and without any of my medication. With all that in mind, this was likely to be the best day ever to go and purchase a couple of lottery tickets as something had to balance out in my favour but I resisted.Read More »