82. Don’t Make Me Angry. You Had Better Find Me Some More.

hulkI came across an online post from a Christian sex counsellor who had reported an incident he had experienced. He and his wife had convinced the wife’s best friend to abstain from having sex with her new boyfriend. The man had assured his girlfriend that she had nothing to worry about in the sex department, wink wink, if they waited. The friend agreed to wait for marriage and after some time the couple were in love and started planning their wedding, they had even started making deposits on items.

One day the wife got a call from her friend who was crying hysterically down the other end of the phone. They had ‘slipped up’ and had sex together. The friend wasn’t hysterical because they had had sex. No, she was hysterical because the boyfriend had a micro penis and she could have married him without knowing.

A woman can verbally destroy a man with one of two conversations. “He finished quicker than it took me to get undressed” or as a female friend described her experience with a micro penis:

“I had one and it was like air.”

That one sentence has a brutality all of its own.

Mike drop. Tumble weeds turning over slowly in the background. Don’t trip over the door on your shamed exit.

Now at this time you have either double checked the page to see if you are in fact reading my prostate cancer blog or you may be scratching your head thinking what’s the connection? Well let me help you there my learned friend.

Two things had sparked my interest in this. The funny but tragic story that first introduced the term ‘micro penis’ to me and the realisation that I had actually gone through the same problem early on in my prostate cancer journey but I didn’t have a name for it. Once my unwanted buddy Catheter had slung his hook, I practically woke up the next morning horrified what had happened to the king. He was a fraction of his normal flaccid self. Needless to say, I found this out with no warning in any of the documentation online or seminars that I had attended. Think shrinkage because you are swimming in a cold river. Then think shrinkage because you are swimming in a bath of liquid nitrogen.

A particularly juicy and distressing nugget to find out all on your own.

We had been told that we were going to lose a little length because the base of the king would fill the space vacated by the prostrate removal. In my case it seemed like the king had decided “What the heck, I’m going to go on a proper P&O cruise of all the vital organs, starting with the kidney”.

See you later mate.

It would be an agonising number of months before the king had concluded his travels and decided to start making his way back.

Apparently 0.06% of men have a micro penis. It is a medical condition concerning unusually small penises. It is defined as an adult with a flaccid penis less than 2.75 inches in length or an erect penis of less than 5 inches in length.

So, back to the radio show interviews. I was now on a hunt for my new topic. Funnily enough I actually found masses of stuff on the topic and they even have a page where they take headless pictures of their ‘no neck’ kings and share with the world. If that wasn’t shocking enough it was the range of emotions that some of them wrote with. It was either acceptance and despair, complaining that they would never enjoy a loving sexual relationship and more than a few expressed their lack of purpose in life and they would be better off not being here.

One remarked that a woman unhappy with her boobs can get a boob job, if she is unhappy with her face can get it lifted. A fat guy can go on a diet or have any number of cosmetic surgery performed. But when you have a micro penis, then that is your curse and nothing can be done about it. They face ridicule either to their face or behind their back.

Jokes aside, I have to admit that the suicidal ones stuck with me for a little bit.

Having a micro penis is one thing but according to the porn that they have been watching, it perpetuates the idea that they cannot ever please a woman, being the size that they are. That same medium also promotes the ‘fact’ that being black means you should be even more hung.

Eventually I found two guys that would talk to me, who both happened to be black.

Michael is in his mid-twenties and had endocrine (glands which secrete hormones and other products directly into the blood) issues since he was fifteen years old. His suspicions were aroused as he was the only one in his family that didn’t have any body hair. He went for a blood test when he was 17 and they found that a number of indicators in his blood that were not quite right. They had been missed by the family doctor when he was growing up. It took a specialist to find, specifically, that his body was not producing enough DHT or Dihydrotestosterone. Wikipedia defines it as:

“Biologically important for sexual differentiation of the male genitalia during embryogenesis, maturation of the penis and scrotum at puberty, growth of facial, body, and pubic hair, and development and maintenance of the prostate gland and seminal vesicles.”

This was the cause of his small penis development. He has always had a positive outlook towards life but his teens were bad. He also had gynaecomastia, otherwise known as male ‘moobs’. Luckily, he was fairly attractive so that helped to deflect some of the abuse. The first woman he slept with, at 16, was a virgin so she didn’t have any measure to compare him with. It was between the years 18 to 21 that were particularly tough. He found himself being rejected by women or never being able to get past a certain ‘base’. He mentioned five women in particular which shaped this period. Three of them made excuses as to why they couldn’t progress, one ghosted him and one flat out told him that he was too small.

He would laugh and say it took his self-confidence down a notch.

I felt it for him.

Now he is on medication. Within a month the moobs had started to reduce, bodily hair had increased, not as passive as he was, confidence and strength increased. However, it didn’t do anything to his King.

This is where the treatment via Google stepped in.

These guys are using a cream that’s very difficult to get hold of in the states apparently. It is a prescription only medication. This cream, which I am not going to mention, is effectively synthetic testosterone applied directly to the king. It is what is used when trans people are transitioning from female to male. In that instance the clitoris begins to enlarge and grow – eventually resembling a micro penis. Some of his contacts have boasted of an inch, two-inch increase in a relatively short time, depending on your ‘genetic potential’.

The side effects include baldness and extreme rage which he said he was not too bothered about. He is going to take it for a month cycle and see how it goes.

He didn’t even pause for thought when he mentioned the extreme rage part. It was the fact that he didn’t just say mood swings or just plain rage but extreme rage that stuck with me. He is going to apply this cream for a month cycle before he decides to either continue or discontinue its use. He will let me know the results and I will let you know.

The second guest that I interviewed was to leave me a little speechless….

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